Misconceptions about rape

I have been shocked by the appalling one-sidedness of discussions by men, mostly, concerning rape going on in this country. The idea is often bandied around that women could do themselves a favour by avoiding certain areas at night or, get this, by dressing differently. Apart from the obvious attempt at social control, there are deeper problems here. Some of this guff comes from “normal” people and some from groups which are best described as anti-feminist. I won't name them here but suffice it to say they have a tendency for misplaced self-adulation. If you detect I may disagree with them, well you thunk correctly.

 

My stance is clear, rape is rape and is never acceptable. No exceptions, no mitigating circumstances. It is the most vile form of physical and mental abuse with devastating long-lasting effects.

Two of the most common misconceptions about rape are behind the ugly rape-apology fallacy. 99% of all rapes are committed by men (some of these are against men as well). And Statistics show that rapes are most often committed by a man known to his victim.

So stranger-rapes are rarer than people think. This should immediately raise a red flag and tell you that a woman's ability to be able to significantly decrease their chances of being raped by "toning down" what they wear, is a myth. Most rapists would have been planning to rape anyway, and what the victim is wearing makes no difference.

Even the authorities who should already know this, fall into the same trap. This is exactly why it is WRONG of the Police to use adverts saying "dress like X to reduce the chances of being raped" and why it is RIGHT for them to just say "No means No" or even “Only yes means yes”. Compare these:

Bad:

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/PwGi1v4ueSyvVlPaI.JrSg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/251/2012/08/03/westmercia-03072012-jpg_095054.jpg

http://itsblackcurrent.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/rape_poster_2.jpeg

http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/8907/large/gop_rape_advisory.gif?1351126298

Wow to that last one, by the way. Shocking.

Good:

http://www.derbyshire.police.uk/Images/Safety-Advice/Personal-Safety/OpDiamond/Example-Poster---Not-an-invite-to-rape-me.gif

http://www.cleveland.police.uk/_assets/images/Press-Office-Press-Releases/rape_logo.gif

http://www.hertssunflower.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Nobody-asks-to-be-Girls-Clubbing.jpg

Using a false "risk-reduction" strategy like that first bad example just alienates women. This advert was rightly widely criticised by the way and I believe has now been withdrawn.

Compare this approach to that for burglary for instance. It is sensible to use risk-reduction strategies in this case, because burglary is a crime of opportunity. So closing curtains, having locks and intruder alarms can all help here. But this is entirely different from the crime of rape.

Moreover, I find it pathetic that men feel the need to be handled with "kid-gloves" on this.

It gives the sick impression that we have no control over our urges, that we are slavering, leering dogs and that the slightest flash of skin can lead to inevitable consequences which our not entirely our fault. Well wouldn't that be convenient for men. "Don't make Hulk angry!" I can hear being used, somewhere. We need to have our consciousness raised, to rise up and be better than that.

The second misconception, is that rape is about sexual gratification. It is actually much more about male dominance, power and control.

This is obvious once you accept the fact that in some parts of the world, rape is used as a weapon to threaten women into compliance with male-determined norms, or even as a punishment for certain "crimes". These can include anything from not following a husband's instructions to the letter to just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Islamic tradition for example strongly favours women covering up almost their entire skin, yet in many Islamic countries they still have a terrible rape problem.

Why? Exactly because they have got it all wrong - rape is more about power, not sex. Covering up does not reduce the need for pathetic male egos to be seen to be in the position of power.

Succumbing to this misconception results in the same vile victim-blaming rape-apology I have heard people spouting in this country. Until men just get over their massive egos, accept the fact that women can be just as awesome as them, and start actually *using* their frontal lobes to control their actions, I can't see this problem being resolved to any substantial degree.